anxiety, anxiety

One day before my depart to KKN Tematik place, Garut.

Is it common to feel uneasy before KKN?

Seniors said that we don't need to be bothered thinking about KKN because it will be fun just like a holiday in somewhere far, far away. But I couldn't feel that way. There are so many things that I worry about. Where would I stay there? Is the house okay? Is there any internet service? How would the local people be? Will the programs work? Will my team work? Will everything be okay?

I keep remembering myself to be more relaxed, I'm not going to do all the things by myself but with the team. I also say to myself that it's the time to grow as a person. Lots, lots, lots of people have through KKN and they are still okay. Why do I need to worry?

But still, I worry.

On the other side, instead of feeling this kind of feeling I would rather to act that everything's going to be okay. I don't want to have a bone to pick, I know it wont solve my anxiety and it just give me more and more anxiety. Just like the countdown I  have made until today, Day-1, the next 40 days would come fast and everything will come to and end for a moment. Yay! 

To myself in the next 40 days,

to my team for the next 40 days,

to the days and the nights,

to the local people,

to pak kades and perangkatnya,

to the program,

to benih-benih tanaman vertikultur,

to everything related to my KKN life,

please be good.
Let's give the best version of us instead of just good.

I believe there will be something that worth these uneasy feelings.